- Some Practical Christian Engagement Advice for Soon-to-be Newlyweds
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There were, obviously, other books on sex, but not written from a Christian perspective. We were both virgins and, thank God, had little knowledge on the subject other than the biological facts. Nowadays there is a plethora of excellent Christian books on marriage, and also some excellent blogs. I write this not to despise premarital counseling, but just to give an idea, as I believe you may have some blog readers who may not have access to counseling. Yeah, having access to premarital counseling is a huge blessing, and one that not every church can offer.
Some Practical Christian Engagement Advice for Soon-to-be Newlyweds
As you mentioned, there are lots of great marriage books out there to read that can help. Another idea is if a church cannot provide premarital counseling for whatever reason, a less formal way a Christian couple can get trained is by asking another Christian couple that they know and trust some questions related to marriage.
Thanks for pointing out that some of the readers of this site may not have access to counseling. Hi David, thanks for this article.
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Lots of really helpful stuff here, especially the encouragements to keep the engagement short and the wedding generally inexpensive. When my wife and I do premarital counseling, increasingly we encourage couples to keep remembering that marriage is all about representing the relationship between Jesus and the church.
I probably should have mentioned that concept more in this post, so I appreciate you pointing that out. Glad that you found this post to be helpful!
About David Qaoud Thanks for reading! I wholeheartedly agree — no amount of counseling can make up for a bad character.
You should respect and honor each other. If you are a teen, you must honor your parents and respect their counsel Ephesians 6: You are subject to parental authority.
Linda Mintle is a author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years in psychotherapy practice. For more articles and info, visit www. The Christian Broadcasting Network.
Are you seeking answers in life? Are you facing a difficult situation? Call Email your prayer request. God's Best or All the Rest? The Musical Christian Singles and Dating. Scripture is very clear on how seriously we are to take the protection of purity in our lives:. Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God…Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body…Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's 1 Cor.
He means to run away from anything that would compromise the purity of the sacred marriage covenant He designed between a man and a woman. But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints Eph. See 1 Timothy 5: Until you enter into a sacred marriage covenant, you are to treat him as a brother, with all purity.
Think about what that means. Would you kiss your younger brother on the mouth? Would you wrap your arms around him sensually? Would you rest your hand on his thigh, or allow him to rest his hand on yours? In fact, He goes so far as to say that if there is any temptation toward compromise in a pre-marriage relationship, the couple should go ahead and get married in order to avoid sexual sin:. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Cor. When it comes to protecting the purity of your pre-marriage relationship, there is no such thing as being too extreme.
How Long Should Christian Engagements Last?
And we must be specific, rather than vague, about our commitments in the area of physical purity prior to marriage. Engagement is a great time to sit down together and have a clear-cut conversation about your physical boundaries. Look to the standard of Christ alone. A true Warrior Poet will value and honor your desires for purity far above his own agenda. He will not make you feel guilty or strange for having high standards.
Rather, he will esteem and respect you all the more for keeping vigilant watch over the treasure of your purity.
If you are with a guy who does anything less, then he is not yet truly worthy of your heart. And, by the way, if either you or he is worried about purity leading to frigidity or sexual incompatibility in marriage, I can tell you with absolute confidence that this concern has no validity whatsoever. Saving kissing and physical touch for your wedding day does not lead to sexual challenges in marriage.
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Rather, it leads to the most pure, beautiful, unhindered form of physical intimacy you could ever hope for or dream of. Also, if you have not already done so, share your specific commitments with accountability partners, such as your parents or godly teammates, and invite them to frequently ask bold questions about how you are doing in protecting the purity of the relationship. In reality, this is one of the best and most practical ways that your teammates can serve your relationship — by working with you to carefully protect the things that are most sacred to your King.
Late nights sitting in the car, long hikes alone in the woods, nestling in the back of a dark movie theater, long talks alone in an empty house — all such scenarios give sexual compromise an unfair advantage.